I’m Just a Redneck Canine

Hey ya’ll, I wrote me a song.  Well I guess it’s one of them parody things and it is to be sung to the tune of “I’m a Redneck Woman” by that bodacious Gretchen Wilson. 

Well I ain’t never been, the poodle dog type,

No I can’t nibble on expensive kibble,

I’d rather eat Old Roy at night.

From laying on the front porch

To running’ coons all night

I’m just looking for a good time

 I don’t turn away from a fight.

I like finding dead things

They’re my favorite thing to gnaw

But don’t you leave meat on the grill cause a steak lost ain’t my fault

Cause I’m a redneck canine, ain’t no prissy show dog.

I’m just a product of my breeding, and you can just call me Dawg.

And I can watch the TV lying on the floor.

I don’t need no fancy dog bed just to make me feel loved more.

So here’s to all my species, chasing cats and feeling free

Let me hear a good Howl Yowl from the redneck Dawgs like me.

Howl, Yowl, Howl, Howl

Now them poodle dog haircuts, they might look alright

But if I got one of them foo foo jobs I'd be looking for a fight.

I’d rather bathe in the cow pond then get drug down to town

To get my fur all lathered up and my toenails all cut down.

Why I can run my nails down, playing with my pals.

And my person, she still loves me, no matter how I smell.

Cause I’m a redneck canine, ain’t no prissy show dog,

I’m a product of my breeding, and you can just call me Dawg.

And I like eating roadkill; it’s my favorite thing to find

I just gotta roll in it really good to make sure ya’ll know its mine.

So here’s to all my species, chasing cars and scratching fleas,

Let me hear a good Howl Yowl from all the redneck Dawgs like me

Howl, Yowl, Howl, Yowl

You know them deer legs, the ones them hunters leave behind?

Well I’d say next to roadkill they’re my favorite thing to find.

Some people might call me dirty, but that ain't really true

I’m just being canine and doing the things dogs do.

So you might call me lazy or you might call me hound,

But I’ll be lying in my person’s bed by the time night comes a round.

Cause I’m a redneck canine, ain’t no fancy show dog

I’m just a product of my breeding; you can just call me Dawg

So here’s to all my species, running wild and feeling free

Let me hear a good Howl Yowl from the redneck Dawgs like me

Howl, Yowl, Howl, Yowl

Yeehaww!

Elwood

You can write Elwood at elwood@crazydogart.com , call him at 706-334-2624, or visit his web page at www.askelwood.com.