Yappy New Year

Have you ever noticed how human people tend to have the same New Year’s resolutions year after year?  Well it’s the same for us canines and even for felines.  So here we go with the top ten canine and top ten feline 2004 resolutions.

Here’s the top ten canine New Year Resolutions for 2004.

10) Stop chasing cars so that I make it to 2005.

9) Stop digging holes in the lawn, garden and carpet.

8)  Stop chewing up gloves, shoes & furniture. Chew only on my designated chew toys.

7) Stop tormenting the neighbor’s cat.

6) Stop begging for table scraps, NOT.

5) Stop pooping in the neighbor’s yard.

4) Stop raiding the cat’s litter box for “tootsie rolls”.

3) Stop barking just to hear myself bark.

2) Stop passing odiferous flatulence in the presence of people, especially guests.

1) Either catch that darn squirrel by 2005 or give it up altogether.

 Here are the top ten feline resolutions for 2004.

10) Torment the neighbor’s dog by making him think he is chasing me.

9) Walk all over the kitchen counters and the table, tasting any food items that might be left out.

8)  Refuse to eat anything except expensive gourmet cat food.

7) Torture the mice before I kill them.

6) Sleep on my person’s chest with tail or my nose in her face.

5) Upon hearing “here kitty, kitty”, pretend I am deaf.

4) Sharpen my claws on the most expensive furniture and floor coverings.

3) Climb up the drapery for fun.

2) Climb way up in a tree and pretend I can’t get down. Remember to act very traumatized.

1)      Leave mouse parts on the doorstep as a gift to my human.

Have a Happy New Year;

Elwood